The TRUE ending to “the Empire Strikes Back”

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A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is
backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry.
A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke’s hand! It goes
spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs
away. He looks around, but realizes there’s nowhere to
go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to
your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No… I am your father!

Luke: No, it’s not true! It’s impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings… you know it to be
true…

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else?
You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes… Threepio… I built him… when I
was 7 years old…

Luke: No…

Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done?
Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn’t even
levitate your own ship out of the swamp…

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I
single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid
Control ship!

Luke: Well, it’s not my fault…

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go… “Poor me… my father
never gave me what I wanted for my birthday… boo
hoo, my daddy’s the Dark Lord of the Sith… waahhh
wahhh!”

Luke: Shut up…

Darth Vader: You’re a slacker! By the time I was
you’re age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar’s Canyon!

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor… 10
years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open… Only human
to ever fly a Pod Racer… right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong… You’re not my kid… I
don’t know whose you are, but you sure ain’t mine…

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then
plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: Get a haircut you F$#king hippy!