Monday, May 10, 2010

PIMPIN MAN-HOE TECHNIQUES

Turkish Snowcone

The act of masterbating and letting the cum bubble up like crude oil onto your fist and making your girl lick it. Also, A blowjob with shaved Ice.

Ex.
She ate that turkish snowcone like a champ!
Damn Betty gave me one hell off a Turkish Snowcone last night and even used Fruit punch flavor!



Filthy Lopez

Since it is based off of the Dirty Sanchez when you make a mustache effect. The Filthy Lopez is when you engage in anal sex then make a full goti and sideburns. A considerable degree smuttier than its Mexican cousin a "Filthy Lopez" additionally involves the use of Peri Peri sauce in the Dirty Sanchez act.

Ex.
Margaret was horrified when she was given a "Filthy Lopez".
I gave Ted's mom a Filthy Lopez Like she never had before.


Belgian Steamer

Its when you have sex then poop on your girl's back.

Ex.
Paula washed her back after a hot Belgian Steamer.

Sneaky Castro

To perform oral sex on a woman with a Castro like beard to tikle her inner tighs and her ass(you must grow one or buy one, borrowing is not a good idea.). When the woman is reaching climax then insert a cuban cigar between the beard and into her ass("sneaky"). If you don't have a cigar handy use you finger(extra sneaky). A sexual act in which the man inserts a Havana(or other type of Cigar) into the vagina of his female partner. He then smokes the cigar while blowing the smoke into his partners orafice.

Ex.

I gave her a Sneaky Castro last night and now the place smells like a Cuban whorehouse.


Mud Pretzel

The act of shaping one's shit into the shape of a pretzel on a significant other's anal area.

Ex.

Fofifi loved it when Frank made a mud pretzel for her.

Irish Facial

Ejaculating onto a woman's face and immedately after pouring beer on her head.

Ex.

Damn I shouldnt have used the guiness on that bitch when I gave her the irish facial


Lombardi Slap

This one is my personal favorite. This is the act of smacking one's penis across another's face.

Ex.

The morning after heavy drinking, the horizontal red welt on Liza's face was evidence that she received a Lombardi Slap from Jason last night.

Portuguese Breakfast

You whisk up some eggs, have her lay down and prop up her ass real high,
take a funnel and pour the eggs in her pussy, then fuck her, and you have just made her "scrambled eggs". Another variation is scrambling eggs and eating them from a woman's vagina.

Ex.

Honey would you like breakfast? Today's special is Portuguese Breakfast!!


Chili Rainbow

When a woman is arched in the shape of a rainbow, and the man ejaculates all over her.

Ex.

Anna loves the Chili Rainbow then a pot of gold in her mouth.


Alabama Hot Pocket

The Alabama Hot Pocket is a special fetish maneuver that roughly involves taking a shit into a woman's vagina, typically followed up by a good ole fuckin'.

Ex.

Shanya decided her vagina needed some lube so her boyfriend performed an alabama hot pocket.

Blumpkin

The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a shit.

Ex.

Dude, after I took your sister to Taco Bell, she gave me the best blumpkin ever.

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